Carissa's Exploits and Fabulous Adventures




Japan Round Two

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

So we had sexual harrassment training in my firm today and it has brought up some interesting questions in my mind, and some complaints. My law firm, I'm sure, is not as bad as others in terms of how polite, civil and courteous people are to eachother. I generally enjoy most of the people I work with. But there are a few incidents that have occured to me, and I don't really know if I should go complain about them.

Last summer in a bar, a partner and shareholder in the firm made an improper sexual suggestion to me and a co-worker. At the time I didn't file any kind of complaint because I thought, well we were in bar drinking, it wasn't in the office, I don't work directly with that partner so he is not a threat to my job, and of course I am just an intern. And I suppose that last one is the weakest excuse of all, but I feel as though I am so unimportant to this firm, because I am temporary, that I don't have the power to complain or cause ripples. I realize that is not correct, but it is still how I feel. So last summer nothing was said. Through the rumor mill it eventually got back to the administration, but they were told it had happened to the summer associates who were already gone when they found out. I still don't work with this man, but I feel uncomfortable around him, and tend to leave situations he is in.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. An associate attorney who I know and do work with occasionally, but am not really friends with, complimented me. That seems nice and simple. But for some reason he went overboard and I felt really uncomfortable with it. Another secretary told me that she thought it sounded like sexual harrassment. Once again I haven't said anything. My job isn't threatened, I don't work with him enough for it to create a hostile environment on a day-to-day basis. If I go to the EEO partners they are required to file a complaint, meaning he would find out I complained about him. He hasn't had a chance to say anything since then because I have just avoided him.

I always thought that I would be one of those people who would be a whistle-blower. If I saw something wrong I would stop it, I would report it, I would do the right thing. But everything isn't black and white. There are so many gray shades that I don't know where the lines are drawn, and I don't know exactly when a line is being stepped over.

During the sexual harrassment training today, there were interns, associates, secretaries, paralegals, and partners in the same session. The partners spent most of the time talking, and the rest of us sat there quietly. I think this is problematic. All of the interns and secreataries and a bunch of the paralegals are women. That means because we are women and in lower positions on the totem pole, we are more likely to get harrassed. The 60 year old male partner is 1) not likely to get harrassed, 2) not worried about losing his job, and 3) not worried about retaliation if he reports something. So I thought it was ridiculous that the partners did all the talking, when they can't really understand the position of people who are in those positions. They just liked playing lawyer and looking at it from a legal perspective. But I also don't think they have a clue what goes on in this firm. One of the other head administrators made a comment that she thinks too many women play the victim. I thought, "Well, I will remember never to approach her with any problems, because she wouldn't believe me anyhow." I guess I never realized how deeply engrained sexism is in our society (and this law firm) until everyone sat down and talked about it (well the partners talked about it at least).

I'm still not sure what to do about either situation. One of the associates thinks I should report it because both lawyers have histories of sexual harrassment and a lot of people have been coming forward. I guess the training didn't help that much if I am still unclear about where the lines are.

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