Because I love making lists....
The California Gubernatorial Candidates that most amuse me (and are actually being allowed to run):
- Joel Britton, Independent, is a Retired Meat Packer. I would mock his career, but he is running against the Terminator. I'm not sure which prepares you more for being Governor: being a crazy robot sent back in time with big guns or packing meat.
- Rich Gosse, , is so concerned about the single people being left out that he is going to throw us a party.
- Mary "Mary Carey" Cook not only has enough names to make up for Angelyne's lack of names, but is also an adult File Actress. Lovely.
- Ivan A. Hall is running for the Green Party and is a Custom Denture Manufaturer. I'm really not making this stuff up. I swear.
- Angelyne (only has one name) is an Entertainer (doesn't specify what kind) and is running as an Independent. Maybe she works with "Mary Carey".
- Bruce Margolin, Democrat, is a Marijuana Legalization Attorney. Any guesses as to what his platform is? Anyone? Anyone?
-Robert Cullenbine's platform is Don't Vote for Me! (Why he did he spend $3500 to say that though?)
-Two students are running: Daniel Watts, Green, and Nathan Whitecloud Walton, Independent. Talk about getting an early start. I just hope their careers don't peak to early. It would be very sad if this is the highlight of their careers. Kindof like the 12 year old cult leaders in Thailand.
- Brooke Adams, Independent, lists among her accomplishments being popular, being homecoming queen in high school, being a cheerleader for 4 years, and being her Junior Class Vice-President. I'd vote for the meat packer first.
-Audie Bock I actually like... she wants to bypass the establishment and speaks Japanese.
- My favorite candidate though is definitely Kurt E. "Tachikaze" Rightmyer. He is running as an Independent and is a Middleweight Sumo Wrestler. He can just sit on any Republicans that don't pass his bills. He could set up a sumo stadium in Sacramento to attract tourists and boost California's economy. California is sadly lacking in extensive Sumo facilities, but fear not! Tachikaze will save the day!
The California Gubernatorial Candidates that most amuse me (and are actually being allowed to run):
- Joel Britton, Independent, is a Retired Meat Packer. I would mock his career, but he is running against the Terminator. I'm not sure which prepares you more for being Governor: being a crazy robot sent back in time with big guns or packing meat.
- Rich Gosse, , is so concerned about the single people being left out that he is going to throw us a party.
- Mary "Mary Carey" Cook not only has enough names to make up for Angelyne's lack of names, but is also an adult File Actress. Lovely.
- Ivan A. Hall is running for the Green Party and is a Custom Denture Manufaturer. I'm really not making this stuff up. I swear.
- Angelyne (only has one name) is an Entertainer (doesn't specify what kind) and is running as an Independent. Maybe she works with "Mary Carey".
- Bruce Margolin, Democrat, is a Marijuana Legalization Attorney. Any guesses as to what his platform is? Anyone? Anyone?
-Robert Cullenbine's platform is Don't Vote for Me! (Why he did he spend $3500 to say that though?)
-Two students are running: Daniel Watts, Green, and Nathan Whitecloud Walton, Independent. Talk about getting an early start. I just hope their careers don't peak to early. It would be very sad if this is the highlight of their careers. Kindof like the 12 year old cult leaders in Thailand.
- Brooke Adams, Independent, lists among her accomplishments being popular, being homecoming queen in high school, being a cheerleader for 4 years, and being her Junior Class Vice-President. I'd vote for the meat packer first.
-Audie Bock I actually like... she wants to bypass the establishment and speaks Japanese.
- My favorite candidate though is definitely Kurt E. "Tachikaze" Rightmyer. He is running as an Independent and is a Middleweight Sumo Wrestler. He can just sit on any Republicans that don't pass his bills. He could set up a sumo stadium in Sacramento to attract tourists and boost California's economy. California is sadly lacking in extensive Sumo facilities, but fear not! Tachikaze will save the day!
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